Living in USA alone is almost 3 months.
I feel comfortable and lonely.
Is it so weired, comfortable and lonely? Yes, that's the real feeling in my mind.
There was a hole in my mind from high school.
But, somehow, I didn't feel it for last 10 years.
The frequency I feeling the hole is getting increasing.
I miss....... so much.
I hold my breath and try to ignore this feeling, again and again.
"Just trying not to think about it, I will be OK." I keep telling myself.
My truthful body feels something wrong first, I was ill physically.
Suffering for 2 weeks, I thought that I survive.
Then, I cried. Totally break down.
I realize I miss......so so much, and never stop.
I think the illness and tears are good for me, the best presents from God.
I need to face the realities, being apart and missing.
I know some day my dream will come to me, the same air and the same sunshine.
I just need to wait, to accept and to follow God's time table.
Just keeping believing.
And, be brave.
I believe. I need to believe.