艾蜜莉@Lab

Living in USA alone is almost 3 months.

I feel comfortable and lonely.

Is it so weired, comfortable and lonely? Yes, that's the real feeling in my mind.

There was a hole in my mind from high school.

But, somehow, I didn't feel it for last 10 years.

Suddenly,

The frequency I feeling the hole is getting increasing.

I miss...... 

I miss....... so much.

I hold my breath and try to ignore this feeling, again and again.

"Just trying not to think about it, I will be OK." I keep telling myself. 

My truthful body feels something wrong first, I was ill physically.

Suffering for 2 weeks, I thought that I survive.

Then, I cried. Totally break down. 

I realize I miss......so so much, and never stop.

I think the illness and tears are good for me, the best presents from God.

I need to face the realities, being apart and missing.  

I know some day my dream will come to me, the same air and the same sunshine.

I just need to wait, to accept and to follow God's time table.

Just keeping believing.

And, be brave. 

I believe. I need to believe.